Jarna's Infallible Law of...Honesty

Is honesty really always the best policy?

I’m leaning towards no. There are a number of instances when a little white lie or dare I say a full-grown whopper is absolutely necessary.

Before I list a few of those instances here’s my disclaimer: those rules can only apply to honest people. Weird, I know, but for people who are used to lying for any and every little thing, this won’t help you none.

I’m not promoting lying as a way of life but we all reach those tight spots where...uhh..you can’t tell the exact truth. Know what I mean?

That said, here are three instances when I think, a... slight embellishments may be necessary:

They can’t handle the truth.

I know it’s cliché but it’s real. Some people really can’t and you can tell too. They say things like, “You were with your friends, right?” or “Tell me you didn’t send that message.”

Statements like these just beg to be corroborated. That’s the person begging not be put in a situation that he or she cannot handle. We’ve all seen it before, maybe in the movies where the poor guy just found himself in a questionable situation and it really isn’t what it looks like but his moral compass-ever pointing northward-won’t allow him to tell a lie and break girlfriend’s trust and by telling the truth happily-ever-after is shot to hell.

What do I think? That could’ve been avoided. Some relationship experts actually say that in tough situations, human beings don’t really want the truth. Well, there you have it; there are situations where the truth is better left unsaid.

To protect an image

Straight up, you see me in a compromising position and you think it might be me but you’re not sure. You ask whether it was me. What would I say? HELL NO! It wasn’t any of my friends either.

I[ill telling the truth discredit me in some way, or shame my family?

You spend so much of your life creating an image of yourself-one that you hope can get you anywhere later down, do you need one situation messing that up for you? Do you want your day job affected by after-hours? Do you need any kind of stigma attached to yourself because of where you may have been seen or what you may have been doing? No. Nobody wants that.

I like to say that at the end of it all, all you have is your fragile reputation and that’s worth lying for to me.

When feelings are involved.

This one is tricky, can the situation improve if you tell the truth? I’m talking about you going out with your friends and somebody’s hair gets torn to shreds with no hope of reconstruction. Do I tell this friend “Hey your hair is horrible!” just to remain the honest friend? Hell nah. This is a situation where nothing can be done and she’ll probably want to go home or be self-conscious all night. If it can be fixed and she choose not to, then yeah scream it in her face. Otherwise, lie girl lie.

Some people say persons should be handed the truth and left to deal with it, however suits them, I think that there’s something to be said for lying to protect feelings and image. You only lie to people and about things for which you really care. Some of those lies may really come from a good place. If feelings will be hurt by telling the truth, should you still tell? Sometimes you have to.

This person you know has bad breath and you among others are forced to endure it every day, he probably doesn’t even realise. Do you lie? Your friend says his girlfriend is lazy. Should he lie? The sex isn’t all it used to be, do you lie?

Someone told me once that if his girlfriend cheated on him and there’s really no chance that he would ever find out, then don’t tell him.. Perfect example of, ‘What ears don’t hear won’t hurt heart.’