Double Talk?

Is it possible for a guy to love his mom to death yet mistreat the woman in his life?

I heard that it is but that issue baffles me. I thought I was sure that guys treat their women the way they treat their mothers or at least no worse. I mean it makes no sense any other way. 

I’ve always heard that one can predict how a guy will treat his woman based on how he treats his mother. I set my watch by that because I have seen it repeatedly over time.

CASE STUDY 1
There’s this one guy who will not be caught doing anything for his mother at any time. No, they get along generally fine. Yes, she’s a good mother. But no matter what she asks him, the answer is always no unless it’s something that he actually wants to do or promises a benefit to him.

I saw his mother ask him one time to move a large bag from the front of the house to the back and he flat out said no. He hides his resources and uses hers and is selfish and uncooperative at home. But he has a girlfriend.

Does he treat her differently?

He doesn’t. He treats her the exact same way. He is as unreliable and irresponsible with his Princess as he is with his Queen.

CASE STUDY 2
I know this other guy who would do anything for his mother; she doesn’t even need to ask. He remembers birthdays and is considerate ‘just because it’s Wednesday.’ If he sees something that he thinks his mom would like he gets it for her just because. Not necessarily huge gifts but small things, maybe fruit or fish to cook or a picture frame...anything.

She doesn’t have to ask. If she does, he goes a bit overboard because he knows she really needs or wants it. 
 His girlfriend? He treats her the same way.

That is as logical to me as the Water Cycle. I don’t see how any genuine man could maintain the facade except in those predictable Lifetime movies. By genuine, I mean a man who is true to himself and not necessarily a “good” or “bad” guy.

He is who is he is no matter who he’s with. Matters not the different types of love and the history of the relationships.

Both Guys A and B are who they are. Whether or not they were raised in happy homes, whether or not they were given sweets as children and whether or not their father did right or wrong is inapplicable in my mind.


Their formative years are passed; their attitudes and personalities are very nearly set in stone and it’s too late to breastfeed those who were deprived as kids. That means that he who is righteous may very well remain righteous and he who is a low down dirty cretin will most likely remain so.

You might say that some mothers have terrible habits and you’re right. In case you didn’t notice, women in general come in all sorts of flavours- sweet, salty, spicy and bland to name a few. But a mother is a mother. There is no denying who brought you into this world and the debt you owe for your existence (no matter how regretful your mother may be.)

The question remains, can a guy treat his mother like a queen and his woman poorly? I can’t see how any genuine man could.