Buying Masks

I wonder...are people ever just themselves? I’m sure the thought has crossed many minds since Creation, but in recent times, I find myself consciously and unconsciously trying to rid myself of pretences more and more.

While I have never been a fan of pretend, (unless for self-preservation) I continue to be influenced by my surroundings in ways which I consider unfavourable.

I want to discuss three ideas here:

1. Unmasking is a continuous process. Like it or not, we have many masks we put on-many pretences we employ. You ought not to be offended by this point because I believe our environment continually attempts to affect who are. Imagine walking though a construction site. You don’t want dust on your person but you can’t avoid it. What you can do is wash off all of that junk at the end of the day and prepare for battle again tomorrow. The same is true for everyone I think.

We should attempt to make the effort into a buffet instead. Look at it this way: we come across people with character traits that are inspiring and endearing and we may pick up some of that along the way. A little bit of charm, just a scoop of organisational skills and maybe just a taste of professionalism. By so doing, when you get to the end of the table, (although I think it’s a never-ending buffet) you are a better person in more ways than one. Mind you, you only want to take things that will prove beneficial to you. Why pick up sloppiness and disrespect when you were never that sort of person.

Sometimes however, you may hover at one point at the table for so long that you unconsciously absorb negative traits like barnacles attach to a boat at sea. You find yourself laughing a bit like someone else or speaking like that person. Not necessarily bad traits- but just ‘not-you’ traits.

At your buffet, you always want generic and positive traits-goodness, honesty, punctuality...those things can belong to anyone. No matter how much you like someone else’s personal style, way of speaking or taste in food; you can’t have that. Those traits belong exclusively to that other person.

How does that apply to masks? Well, at the point that you realise that you’re behaving like someone else, if you are so enamoured with those characteristics that you don’t mind being this other person, you have in effect put on a mask.

You have not become that person. You never will, you are only an imitation. Whether a good imitation or a shoddy one, you are not yourself, therefore you have failed.

All the time, we come across people who are so far gone that they no longer know who they are. The little things make you YOU and while you may love something about someone else, there is no excuse for attempting to be that person. At your regular self-reflection period, you ought to wash off everything that doesn’t belong...like dust after a long hot day.

2. Another facet of masks with which we are all very familiar is the old-fashioned-I’m-pretending-to-be-something-I’m-not mask. We all know those people, no need to describe them. My only question is why.

Why pretend to be something that you’re so blatantly not? It irks me-but then, few things don’t.

Ok so you want to fool yourself into believing that by play-acting long enough, you shall eventually become your character but many times, your props look fake and your set is shabby. Pretending to the point that people have to wonder what planet you were living on. So offended are you by just the thought of certain ordinary and real things that you literally recoil in disgust. Oddly, to get behind the curtain, the viewer often finds terrible skeletons which are often scarier than the real thing...

Equally sad are the poor others caught up in hero-worship rhapsody. You are willing to put yourself out just so your hero doesn’t feel disappointment or disapproval. Your hero frowns at your outdated music player and you all but throw it in the trash right away.

What happens when the curtains are shifted? You have spent so much time imitating and you’re so close to being this other person that when the other shoe drops and your hero is outed as a scam, you don’t know whether you’re coming or going. Who next can you be?

Don’t get me wrong, Reader, if  you grow up in a slum and you have dreams of grandeur then nobody should knock your hustle but we will all raise our eyebrows if you walk around acting like you don’t know what it is to carry water or have dusty feet. You must understand why I’m irritated, Reader.

Which brings me to my next point:

3. Why want people to pretend too? So you’re an expert pretender and you have everyone fooled. Why is your next logical step to try to force everyone around you to do the same?

For example: You can’t stand the idea of ever being broke so someone else who may be broke or maybe just frugal is so offensive to you. To the point that this other person with a weaker personality must feel that he has to pretend to be someone that he’s not.

The way I see it, it takes all sorts of situations to make people, and all sorts of people to make the world. This guy that you love so much is who he is because of his experiences. He is kind because he has been bullied; good with money because he’s been broke; bold because he has been taken advantage of and humble because he had humble beginnings.

When did we become this people who care only about superficial things? People and life should matter more to us than name, positions, appearances and material things.

Among the many other things that deserve blame, I blame social media. Perfect example: Instagram. It looks to me like this network was created solely to show everybody what everybody owns. So you create an account and post pictures of your pretty face and your glitzy car and your pretty nails and latest shoes and flashy stuff. To what end... when people so close to home are doing all sorts of things just to make ends meet? When people are dying of illnesses that could be cured? Right here in your Caribbean. The truth of the matter is that most people are average people working average jobs, living in average homes, going to average places. It’s like telling a seven year old that she is not missing out on anything by going to sleep early. You need to tell yourself that everybody else is not out doing something crazy and buying up stores and flying the globe. Why don't you calm down?

I also blame the entertainment culture. The same culture that says that a celebrity wearing a blue top is big news. That same culture will bombard viewers with infinite songs about immaterial things. So Drake The Idiot says all he cares about is temporary satisfaction for the future he can see. Then what? Everybody goes YOLO! Yeah right.

This other stupid says "pop a molly" and party every night and all the other fools throw their hands up and agree. All the rappers you know talk about ghetto life so you sing about that too. What ghetto life? You graduated from high school and went to college!

That culture fools our kids into either becoming criminals or whores just to impress someone else.

It’s ok for you to think me a left-wing conspiracy theorist. I like being different. Luckily most of us have strong and bold personalities and we feel no shame in stating things how they are. What about those who are not so sure yet of who they are. What will they do to fit in?

Any sort of mask I see myself wearing, regardless of who is offended or disgusted, I’m going to peel it off. I am who I am and while I’m working to the goals I want to achieve, the biggest achievement for me is getting to forty with my character intact.