Why We Like Our Nice Guys a Little Bad

I had an epiphany and here’s how it goes. We’ve all heard it said that good girls like bad guys but I beg to differ. We like nice guys but with a little bit of bad mixed in.
We hate to like bad guys but they’re just so irresistible. They don’t ask permission to do anything which is bad...and good. They’re so arrogant and cocky that they make us think highly of them citing their ‘confidence’ as attractive. They’re not afraid to say no to us and something about that makes us feel protected. Odd, I know.

On the other hand, fully bad guys also do terrible things: they are unreliable, they cheat and they are self-centred and immature.

We’re old enough to know bad guys hurt- like all other things considered bad: headaches, insect bites, menstrual pains, poison, DEATH!

Nice guys on the other hand don’t hurt but they don’t inspire, they don’t raise blood pressures or make us forget what we were about to say. They’re safe enough to take home to the parents and ever so polite. They ask before doing anything...even the things you want them to do. BORING!

We like so many things about nice guys but given the opportunity to take someone on a completely scandalous illegal rendezvous, who would we take? Definitely the bad guy. It just fits.

Nice guys would ask whether we got permission, whether it’s safe to go, whether we shouldn’t do something safe and rest up for work tomorrow...BORING!

Bad guys would ask, “What time?”

We know guys who are all bad and some who are all nice: No good and no fun; in that order.

A hybrid of the two would be the greatest invention since the microwave. We would prefer nice guys who are capable of bad things. Picture it: a nice guy who can make you weak with half an arrogant smile. Yum!

So how do you get one? My vote is to build one. I’m not trying to offend nice guys here but consider it as helping someone to become a better version of himself.

Here’s my suggestion:

Start with a nice guy because bad guys absolutely do not change. If you start with a bad guy- rotten to the core- no amount of coddling or coaching will change him. Bad guys practising good traits from time to time are still bad guys.

On the other hand, if you start with a genuinely nice guy and teach him a trick or two about what works for you; you have a nice mix. This is because innately, he’s a good guy. If there’s a glitch in the system, he reverts to what he knows--which is being good. Naturally, bad guys will revert to being bad.

In pondering this subject, I thought to myself, “Why would a nice guy even want to practise ‘bad’ things?” then I got it: since he’s nice and clearly cares about you, he does it for you...because you want that.

I feel the need to reiterate key points.

1.     We don’t like 100% nice guys.

2.     We don’t like everything about bad guys.

3.     If we had to choose a candidate for a good time, we would choose the bad guy by default.

4.     We wish we could mix them and get a nice balance.

5.     If we could mix them, we would start with nice guys because we like most of their qualities.

6.     We’re not trying to change nice guys; we only want them customised to fit the dynamic of our relationships.

7.     This mix benefits both parties...maybe even his next girl.

8.     Everybody wins.

In an ideal world, nice guys would be lined up to hear us explain exactly what we want in a guy and by the end, we would have armies of these dapper, considerate, James Bond types walking around...

   Sigh...a girl can only dream.