Ben vs. Benjamin Franklin

I was talking to a friend the other day and as usually happens with women; we covered about eight topics in eight minutes. Within our eight minutes, we hit on whether we would get married for love or money if we were given the choice.

So the question was presented: if I am offered enough money to last two generations to marry someone that I don’t love and never would, would I accept?

I don’t think I would. Maybe I was born in the wrong era but I feel like I’m from the old school and although I’m not so much of a romantic, I don’t think I would be able to. Joy is more than satisfaction. After I get home from buying something that I wanted, eventually I put the thing away and I’m back to me and my thoughts. Those shoes that I wanted for so long can bring me momentary pleasure but they can never bring me joy. No matter how much I love them.

I can imagine many of you rolling your eyes and thinking of all sorts of adjectives to describe Jarna but in my audacious opinion, I choose Ben because Benjamin Franklin usually isn’t worth the paper that he’s printed on.

In this century, I’m sure that it happens all the time- not in the way that was just described of course. I know that women are presented with options all the time: one guy whom she feels strongly about and another who would represent the answer to all her financial woes but in her own words, “He’s not all that.”

To listen to my friend describe it, Ben is not as valuable as Benjamin Franklin which essentially says that joy isn’t worth it. Her opinion is that so many women sacrifice so many things for love and the object of their love doesn’t think enough about her to appreciate that it’s well...not politically correct to sleep with everything with legs.

I wasn’t too surprised by her opinion but it left me wondering how many jaded women and men are out there. For some reason I can’t help but think that many people- especially young ones-are way too bitter for their age.

I say bitter because a number of persons who express such cynical views of the world and relationships have been disappointed before. Before you get your pitchforks, let me also say that we have all been disappointed but I don’t think that should have any bearing on what might happen next. Being grotesquely failed by the people that we care about usually has us considering putting up walls. Sometimes it hasn’t even happened to you yet and you already have your tools for your own wall. I think that could make you very angry old folk.

Saying all of this shouldn’t give you the impression that I own any high horses, because like I said, we have all been disappointed. I choose to consider my disappointment a trivial one because the idiot didn’t know what he had but that’s his loss, not mine. And right now, I’m not looking at every guy like he might do me wrong. That would make me part of The Bitter Folk Crew as well.

Now Reader, if you’re following you should be wondering now what that has to do with Ben and Benjamin Franklin.

 In my view, many of those who would choose the money are part of The Crew. I can appreciate that some of you are not part of the group but hey you just need some money. Story of our lives...but I don’t think it’s worth it. It’s the equivalent of selling your chance at joy. Although you can sell every of other part of you and possibly buy them back, selling your joy can never make you a better person.

Everybody says that money cannot buy happiness...that’s so cliché, I’m not even saying that because money can buy an attitude that can make me very happy. I’m advocating that people were meant to be with other people- not in a desperate I-need-a-woman-or-I’m-not-complete sort of way but in a It’s-nice-to-share-this-with-somebody-else sort of way.

Outside of that, peace of mind is more important than money.

Imagine being hungry without cash. You only have a credit card. There’s only one option for food and they don’t take cards. I’ll bet that you would be willing to sell your card for a dollar after a while.

Reader, I’m writing this and thinking at the same time, what kind of person do I sound like? That’s not me by default but I am learning to see that life is a journey and every person and situation is like a pit stop for a quick class. So we’re expected to learn something from every single circumstance and what I’ve recently learned is that people try using money to buy joy so why sell my joy for money?

I need not point out the millions of wealthy persons who society expected to be so happy but tragic events indicated otherwise. It is unnecessary for me to say that those unfortunate and empty women who marry for money try all sorts of thrills to retrieve their essence and end up losing everything even their morals. I don’t have to highlight those persons who choose Benjamin Franklin and are forced to turn blind eyes although everybody knows his sexual orientation or that she has a life-threatening STD.

It was needless to list those examples but I did because while we all know of those people, we still think that the grass is greener on the other side.

My rant boils down to this: bitter or not, broke or not; money will never be able to buy everything so the few things that are free should never be taken for granted.
Carpe Diem